A Letter to Motivation

Dear Motivation,

You stormed into my life...a force to be reckoned with, opening up a world in which the seemingly impossible was possible. You believed in me, you encouraged me, you never doubted me. Your passion for adventure and pushing the limits was infectious and most of all, addicting. And like an addict, I craved more. Then, one day...you were gone.

Not believing you’d vanish so abruptly, I sought you out at every turn, my ego longing for that fix...my confidence waning, but you were nowhere to be found.

Not wanting to confront reality, I continued to push myself beyond my limits. I worked harder than ever to prove that your faith in me was not unfounded, all the while seeking you out, steadfast in my belief that one day you’d return. I’m still waiting...

but, more importantly, I’m still going strong.

What I’ve come to realize is that while you play an invaluable role in my life, one I will forever be thankful for, my success is not your responsibility. You will forever come and go in various forms. When you’re present, everything will feel as if it’s fallen into place. And when you’re not, life will be a struggle. It’s how I choose to handle the times of struggle that counts.

It’s easy to get lost in self pity...to wallow in emotions and lose sight of your goals. And while I have never admitted it to anyone before, I have fallen victim to this scenario for most of my life. The funny thing is that people always compliment me on my strength and resilience in facing life’s adversities. I guess that’s what comes with having a good game face because they couldn’t have been more wrong. Yes, I’ve always done what I needed to in order to survive, but that’s all I was doing and life should be so much more than that.

The key: believing in myself.

That may sound simple enough. There are lots of people in this world that are naturally self-confident, but for a many of us, it’s a long and difficult struggle. For me, it’s taken 40(ish) years, but I think I finally get it now. I must look beyond my own doubts, fight back against the fear, and push through the aches and exhaustion. I must commit to myself, regardless of whether or not you are with me, that I will always strive to be better than I was the day before in all aspects of life.

I know that for each victory, there will be many failures. But, what I also know is that regardless of the outcome on a particular day or at a particular moment, I gave all I had...did the best I could...and I’ll get up the next day and do it all over again, with or without you. And that, my friend, is success.  

Until we meet again...

With love and gratitude,
Annie